


surrounded by time

by freckleder



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Baking, Dancing in the Rain, Established Relationship, Ice Skating, Kisses, M/M, Post-Canon, Pumpkin carving, Slice of Life, fluff and seasonal shenanigans, pillow forts, strawberry fields - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7948522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckleder/pseuds/freckleder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo’s eyes were opened in surprise but the smile didn’t leave his lips. It wasn’t his trademark smirk but a soft one and the way his eyes squinted together just a tiny bit made Kenma’s heart ache. Looking at Kuroo was like looking at a painting that was so beautiful it brought him close to tears. He called it <em>‘feeling too much at once’. </em><br/>---<br/>Glimpses of Kenma's and Kuroo's life after high school through the seasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. be my own kind (summer)

It was dark inside the room, only a few sunrays sneaked their way through the shutters. Kenma let out a deep breath in a futile attempt to make the heat leave his body. Summer in the city was merciless, the pavement and the high buildings were practically trapping the heat inside.

Kenma was lying sprawled out on the couch of Kuroo’s apartment, not bothering to waste precious energy by sitting. His shirt was riding up but he welcomed the pleasant coolness even though it was only short-lived. His bare feet dangled over one arm of the couch while he waited. His laptop was resting on his chest and he was playing a game despite the awkward angle.  

After a while he sat up and pushed a few strands out of his face. His hair had gotten longer to a point that it started to annoy him if it wasn’t tied into a ponytail, yet he hadn’t gotten around to making an appointment at a hair salon. A large jar filled with water was standing at the table besides him with a few slices of lemon floating around. It was almost empty. Kenma couldn’t remember how long he had been lying on the couch. He poured himself another glass and glanced at the watch on the wall. His eyes fell on the picture that hung beneath it. It showed the volleyball team at Nekoma when Kuroo had been captain. Had two years or two decades passed since then? Kenma couldn’t tell the difference. So much had changed since then.

During his first year in high school he didn’t care for the club. He had listened to Kuroo’s stories and he had painted him a picture of a team, working together in perfect sync, learning from each other and helping each other out, on the court and off it. They could experience all of it together if Kenma would join. The reality of it was a different story. Kenma was sitting on one end of the bench while Kuroo sat with the third years on the other end. He didn’t dare walk up to them after they had made him run five extra rounds around the court while the rest of the team was already allowed to take a break.

It was the pride that glistened in Kuroo’s eyes when the third years announced that he’d be captain that made Kenma stay. It was the way he smiled when Kenma set smoothly in his direction for the first time. It was the way he put his hand on his shoulder after practice and told him that he did well.

In his second year he experienced what being a team meant for the first time. It had taken him some time to warm up to his teammates but after his first year he had already checked the thought the ideal team Kuroo used to swoon about off the list. It was like a switch had been flipped. He felt something stir inside him during practice the closer they got to the nationals. He cared little about victory or defeat but he had felt the energy shared between all of them on the court that he hadn’t expected.

Kenma had mixed feelings about his last year of high school because it had become his job to unite the team once again. To find new strategies that incorporated the new faces that had joined the club and added strength to the team. It had been exhausting. He remembered coming home completely drained off any energy. There was so much more that made a team than just training.

The door opened, startling Kenma. When did he walk all the way up to the picture? He turned around to see Kuroo enter the living room.

“I’m home”, Kuroo said. He carried a white plastic bag and put it down at the kitchen table. “Are you thinking of old times?”  

“No, I…” he paused. “Maybe.”

Kenma walked over to Kuroo and peaked over his shoulder. He was still wearing the black dress shirt from his part-time job and he smelled like coffee.

“Hi”, Kuroo said now that Kenma was at his side and gave him a peck on his cheek.

“Hey,” Kenma replied, not quite sure where to look. He had never been able to shake a certain degree of embarrassment off even though he had been in a relationship with Kuroo for years now.

Kenma had already been able to tell what Kuroo had bought. He watched him take a plate out and cut the watermelon in half and then separate the slices further into triangles.

Kuroo carried the plate over to the table while Kenma brought a second glass for Kuroo and some napkins.

Kuroo opened the large window to their french balcony and they both sat down, letting their feet dangle over the edge.

“How was work?” Kenma asked after taking the first slice of watermelon.

“The usual”, Kuroo replied. “We ran out of ice two times but that was the most exciting thing that happened.”

Kenma put one hand on the handrail and rested his head on top of it. He watched Kuroo lying on his back, trying to eat a slice of watermelon and almost dropping it on his face. He glanced at Kenma to see if he had noticed and laughed when he saw him already looking. Kenma smiled.

The last sunrays of the day tinted the sky in soft pink and orange, the clouds were shining in a bright golden colour. A wind chime was tinkling in the distance. Kenma spotted a stray cat running down the streets with tiny steps.

“Hey, remember the contest about who could spit watermelon seeds the farthest during the training camp?” Kuroo suddenly said.

“Kuro, no.”

He sat up and looked at Kenma. “Please?”

Kenma shook his head.

“Are you afraid that you’re going to lose?”

The corners of Kenma’s mouth started to lift. He couldn’t believe that Kuroo still tried to get him to do something by teasing him even though he knew it never worked.

“We can’t spit watermelon seeds down the balcony, that’s littering. Also there could be someone walking down there.”

“They’re organic, either they get washed away by the rain or they’ll be eaten by some birds.”

Kenma sighed and raised a slice of watermelon to his lips. “All right.” He got on his knees so he could look over the handrail properly.

“Really?” Kuroo looked at him in surprise.

Kenma didn’t reply but took a big bite of the watermelon instead. Kuroo followed his example.

They both sat at the edge, their cheeks filled with watermelon seeds. Kenma glanced down one last time to make sure nobody was around and nodded, giving the sign to start. It took them two attempts because the first time Kuroo almost chocked on the seeds from holding back laughter when someone below them opened a window and they had to stay quiet.

Surprisingly it was Kenma who won the contest but Kuroo insisted that he was tired from work and hadn’t shown his full potential. Kenma let it slide with a smile.

“Do you think something actually grows out of these seeds?” Kuroo asked when they were both lying on their back, watching the clouds.

“No, I don’t think so. Otherwise anyone could grow watermelons on their own and nobody would have to buy them anymore,” Kenma said after some consideration.

Kuroo shrugged. “They might not produce watermelons but I want to see if a plant grows.” He played with some leftover seeds on the plate.

“Want to try it out?” Kenma already knew that Kuroo was only waiting for him to give his approval.

“Well, if you insist then I guess we have to give it a go.”

Kuroo got up and came back with an old flower pot, a remnant of many failed attempts at growing plants. Both of them selected two seeds to put into the wet soil, then they placed the flower pot on the window sill in the kitchen. Kenma doubted that they’d grow into proper watermelon plants but it was worth a try. Maybe he’d be proven wrong.

 

* * *

 

A roll of blue tape rested on the nightstand. Kuroo was lying in the bed, large enough for him and Kenma to share. Kenma returned from the bathroom wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts. The bed dipped down where he sat down next to Kuroo. Kenma picked the tape up from the nightstand.

“I can’t change the tape if you’re lying down”, he said.

Kuroo nodded and pushed himself off to sit next to him. He took hold of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Tape framed his right scapula and ran over his shoulder down to his elbow. It had started off with an innocent ache in his right shoulder but instead of getting better the pain had increased the longer Kuroo had waited. It was from overuse, the doctor had told him and had recommended to take it easy with the volleyball training for a while. The tape would help him stabilize the hurt area. Kenma changed the tape for him every few days but he had not gotten used to it yet.

Kuroo sat with his back to Kenma. He was tense but tried to breath as usual. Kenma’s fingertips ghosted over his skin as he pried one end of the sticky tape off. He was careful not to pull on his skin and removed it inch by inch.

Kuroo flinched when a strand of Kenma’s hair brushed against his back.

“Sorry about that”, Kenma said and pushed the strand back. His voice was even but Kuroo had learned to read the tiny changes in his features.

Soon the entire tape was removed, discarded besides them on the bed. Next Kuroo felt a wet towel touch his back. He had protested when Kenma had started to wipe him down for the first time but it was difficult for him to remove the sticky residues of the tape by himself.

The towel was soft and only gently grazing his skin. A single droplet of cold water was running down Kuroo’s back. He supressed a shudder when Kenma smothered it under his thumb and dragged his finger from his lower back up to his shoulder. A dry towel followed, removing the water again.

Kuroo heard the sound of tape being pulled. He held his breath when Kenma placed the first strip of tape on his scapula. He pressed down on it with the palm of his hand to remove any air bubbles that might be left. He moved on to Kuroo’s shoulder and arm, applying the tape step by step.

In the beginning Kenma had marked the spots that had to be taped but he remembered them by now. He had memorized Kuroo’s back well enough to know without any markings. The implication of that statement alone was enough to make him feel flustered.

Kenma reached his upper arm and put the last piece of tape on.

Kuroo moved his arm experimentally. “Thank you, I wouldn’t know how to do that without you.” He reached for his shirt but Kenma’s hand on his arm stopped him.

It took a few seconds for Kenma to start speaking. “Would you mind…staying like this for a moment?”

This was new. Kuroo wasn’t sure what to expect but he nodded and let his arm drop again. At first nothing happened, then he felt Kenma’s fingers on his back once again. He started tracing the tape so gently Kuroo could barely feel it. He was exploring every dip and bump on Kuroo’s back, always careful touches so he could see Kuroo’s reactions. It wasn’t often that Kenma initiated something so he wanted to let him do as he pleased.

Kuroo’s gaze was resting on the curtains in front of him, waving in the hot summer air but his focus was somewhere completely else. Kenma’s hand grazed the hair at the nape of his neck and then followed his spine all the way to the end and up again, leaving a hot trail on his skin.

If Kuroo had one free wish, then it would be to see Kenma’s face. _God_ , he wanted to see what he looked like but he didn’t want to risk ending this as quickly as it had started. Suddenly two hands were on his shoulders, softly kneading them. A sigh escaped Kuroo’s lips and he leaned into the exploratory touches. He was progressively relaxing, the tension leaving his back. Kenma had noticed his reaction so he kept it up for a few minutes.

When Kenma started to circle the tan lines on his upper arms Kuroo couldn’t hold back anymore. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kenma’s flushed face. He looked up from Kuroo’s back like he got caught doing something forbidden but he didn’t break the eye contact.

“Is this all right?”, he asked, the redness in his face intensifying.

“Yeah.” Kuroo’s mouth was dry. He knew that he hadn’t given a feedback but rather an approval for Kenma to continue.

For a moment they were both very aware of themselves, their short breath, their flushed faces. It was Kenma who eventually broke the gaze. Kuroo faced forward again when Kenma continued.

He took a sharp breath when he felt Kenma’s lips on his neck, still surprised by the softness of them. Kenma planted small kisses along Kuroo’s neck and shoulders. They quickly turned into open-mouthed kisses, sending shudders down Kuroo’s spine. Despite the open window and the fact that Kenma had wiped his back down just minutes ago he felt waves of heat pulsing over his skin. His breath came out ragged and when Kenma’s hands started trailing down his sides and forward over his abs his last resolve to sit still and wait crumbled.

Kuroo took Kenma’s hands in his and turned around.

Kenma looked at him questioningly. “Was this no good? Usually you like it when I touch your neck.”

“No, it was good.” Kuroo’s voice was rougher than usual and his face was burning up.

He pulled Kenma on his lap and finally kissed him. They were both gasping for air when they parted again and Kuroo reached over to take Kenma’s shirt off. It was too hot for shirts anyways.

 

* * *

 

Kenma roamed through his pile of shirts. He made a short huff upon realizing that his favourite shirt was at Kuroo’s place. Of course it would be there. He half-heartedly picked another one.

He caught himself glancing out of the window for the third time within five minutes. Kuroo had said that he wanted to go strawberry picking and had looked up the closet place. He had called it a date. They spent a lot of time together, especially during summer, so Kuroo liked to make a big deal out of it when they went on an official date. Kenma didn’t care much about how they called the time they spent together but it was important to Kuroo so he went along with it.

There he was, on his bicycle. A snapback was keeping his wild hair in check. It reminded Kenma to take the large straw sunhat he had gotten last summer with him when he left.

“Hello there, may I offer you a ride?” Kuroo made an overdramatic bow.

Kenma smiled. “Not the most romantic vehicle I could think of, but I’ll take it.”

He glanced around to see if anyone was watching before giving Kuroo a small peck on his cheek and sitting on the back of Kuroo’s bike like always. His own bike had been ruined ever since he took a tumble down a steep hill. Apparently being able to do one sport didn’t equal being good at every sport. Kenma didn’t like trains much either but at least they were not life-threatening to him.

“We’ll be there in about twenty to thirty minutes, hold on tight.”

“Let me know when you get tired and we’ll switch.”

“I don’t have a death wish.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Kenma, you’re terrible at cycling.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Maybe. A tiny bit.”

“See, I told you so.”

“If this is your way to charm your date then it’s not working. Just to let you know.”

“We are already dating, Kenma.”

“Mmh, true.”

He had his arms wrapped around Kuroo and glanced past him to see where they were going. It was a route Kenma didn’t recognize. His eyes flickered from one side to the other as the scenery rushed by. The buildings got smaller and scarcer the further away from the city they got. They drove past a handful of people, most of them carrying either grocery bags or walking a dog. He leaned closer to Kuroo and rested his head against his back. Kenma closed his eyes, feeling every bump and unevenness of the road beneath them.

He spotted the striped tent of the strawberry fields long before they arrived. Kuroo chained the bicycle up while Kenma bought a basked from the staff at the tent to collect them. Strawberry season was almost over so only a few people were on the field, roaming through the leaves of the plants for the last ripe berries. Kenma knew that Kuroo had chosen the date deliberately, that way they had more liberties to flirt.

The straw between the small bushes crunched under their feet while they were both crouched down, their hands pushing leaves aside to look for strawberries.

“We could make some jam with these if we find enough”, Kuroo said.

“You know how to make jam?” Kenma raised his eyebrows. He knew that Kuroo could cook but making jam was something else.

“Not yet but we could both learn it together.”

Kenma shrugged. “Alright.”

They moved further and further to one of the edges, taking every strawberry they could find with them. The tips of Kenma’s fingers started to turn red from strawberries that were too ripe and got mushed as soon as he had touched them. It was hot, his back was hurting from being hunched over for so long and the straw was poking his toes but he didn’t care. He was here with Kuroo.

“You should come over here, I think here is a patch nobody has found yet”, Kuroo said. He watched Kenma push himself off the ground and walking over. His white shirt was reflecting the sun, forming a pretty contrast with the red strawberries in the basket. A handful of tiny freckles were sprinkled on Kenma’s nose. Kuroo wanted to kiss every single one of them. In a few weeks they would start to vanish and eventually fade without leaving a trace. Just like summer they would come back year for year, being brought along by the sun. Just slightly different every time. _Like summer._  

“Hey, Kenma!”

He turned around to see Kuroo with a strawberry between his lips. “Sthawbewwy?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Kenma regarded him with a disapproving frown. They were in public. An old lady used her walking stick to balance her basket on top. Kids were laughing in the background, chasing each other through the long rows of strawberry bushes. The streets next to the field were empty. Kuroo made holding back look so easy. He couldn’t joke around like that. He leaned forward and kissed Kuroo, plucking the strawberry from his lips while using his straw hat to shield them from curious eyes. It tasted sweet and almost dissolved in his mouth, without even a hint of the sourness Kenma expected.

Kuroo’s eyes were opened in surprise but the smile didn’t leave his lips. It wasn’t his trademark smirk but a soft one and the way his eyes squinted together just a tiny bit made Kenma’s heart ache. Looking at Kuroo was like looking at a painting that was so beautiful it brought him close to tears. He called it ‘ _feeling too much at once’_.

It was already late in the afternoon when they had filled their basket.

“Let’s take a picture with our catch!” Kuroo suggested while they walked back to the bicycle.

Kuroo held the phone out and they both grabbed onto one side of the bucket filled to the brim with strawberries. Kuroo didn’t tell Kenma to smile. He didn’t have to. He never had to. The smile that usually took Kenma so much energy to summon almost didn’t want to leave his lips when he was around Kuroo. It was bubbling up from deep within and threatened to take him over, his feelings gushing outside into the open world. Maybe dates were important to him too.

They were on their way home. Kenma rested his back against Kuroo’s, the basket of strawberries balanced on his lap. He didn’t need to see where they were going, Kuroo would bring them back safely. The last sunrays were hitting his face and his hair was fluttering from the airflow. He wondered how strawberry jam would taste on pancakes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this was the most nsfw thing I ever wrote, I hope it wasn't too awkward to read haha.  
> I want to write four chapters in total, each set in a different season. I tried to experiment with different scenarios and explore their relationship, so I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Oh and I totally didn't know that strawberry season is actually in spring so my bad, I hope you aren't bothered too much by that.


	2. of hot chocolate, coffee and tea (autumn)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've recently discovered tomppabeats and i'm in love with their music, i wanted to make a playlist for this fanfic but it would be just of this album here, it's exactly the mood i was going for: [ tomppabeats - harbor lp ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76PHzENMQ04&spfreload=1)

Kenma pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. It has gotten cold in the mornings, the mellow summer days were over. He was the first one to arrive at the office building. He wondered if they had already started to switch the heaters on. Kenma’s footsteps echoed through the corridor, despite the carpet on the floor. He got some coffee from the coffee maker in the break room. He didn’t even like coffee.

He was working for a small accounting company that currently employed twenty-five people, himself included. A friend of his family, that had previously worked at the company, had told Kenma about the open position in the IT department. Kenma had applied because it had been worth a try and they promptly replied and told him that he had gotten the job.

Kenma liked his job. He had it for over a year now and he was still as content as one could be with a job that paid the rent. It didn’t require any customer contact, therefore he also didn’t have to follow a dress code and he worked alone. His job was to keep everything running smoothly. As it had turned out, the previous IT manager was about to retire so they were in dire need of someone taking over for him. The title “manager” was an over exaggeration in Kenma’s eyes, because one could barely call it managing if the manager was the only person of said department. Even so, he worked mainly alone and once in a while someone would call him because a program suddenly stopped working. Or because they forgot their password. Or because they accidently deleted their browser. Kenma sighed.

He opened the door to his own little office. He only had to share it with some cardboard boxes filled with clear files and paper. Kenma pulled the shutter up and watched the sunrise. Then he opened the window to let some cold air in. It helped him get rid of the drowsiness of getting up early. Then he started the computer to start with the routine check-up.

 

* * *

 

It was lunchtime. Food was provided by the cafeteria around the corner so Kenma sat at a table with his co-workers. He inspected the curry on his plate with a sceptic expression.

“Do you guys have any plans for the weekend yet? I thought we could all go out for a drink if you’ve got time,” Kenma’s boss suggested.

Everyone nodded in agreement. It had been a while since they’ve all gone drinking together which wasn’t something Kenma had been particularly sad about. He was by far the youngest employee so he didn’t have much to talk about with his co-workers. Luckily for him he hadn’t hit the drinking age yet so he had been able to excuse himself very early in the evening. His birthday was around the corner so he would have to come up with a different excuse in the future.

“I’ll join you guys later, I have an appointment in the evening but I’ll try and hurry up,” Sato said. He was twenty-seven years old which made him closest to Kenma in age. Sato was nice, he had explained most of the things to Kenma and took him around when he was still new.

“Oh, are you going on a date with your girlfriend first?”

Sato made a face that clearly said that he didn’t want to talk about it. “We broke up last week.”

“Oh no, in that case some distraction is going to be welcome. Maybe you’ll even meet a nice girl.” His boss gave him a pat on his shoulder.

Sato didn’t look like he was in the mood to meet a different girl but he nodded half-heartedly.

“Kenma, you’ve been single since forever, right? If you wouldn’t always escape as soon as you get the chance to then you might actually get a girlfriend too,” his boss added.

Kenma looked up. Not this again.

“If only you’d cut your hair and grow a beard. You’re still so young, you have to look more manly.” He gestured at him and then shook his head as if he couldn’t understand why Kenma wasn’t following his advice.

Kenma nodded because it was easier than explaining. His friends knew that he was gay but he didn’t know his co-workers well so he was rather save then sorry. Nonetheless he resented the comments of his boss, trying to tell him how to act and dress to get someone else to like him, regardless of gender. He had considered making up a girlfriend to make them leave him alone but then it would be suspicious if Kenma showed up everywhere alone. It was too much of a hassle but he hated to pretend that he was single.

“Would you excuse me for a second, I have to make a call.” Kenma took his plate and carried it to the rack.

He heard someone whisper _“Well done, you made him mad.”_ at their table but he didn’t care enough to glance back to see who it was.

Kenma hadn’t lied. He had walked back to his office and called the first number in his contacts.

“Kenma, what’s up?”

He immediately relaxed when he heard Kuroo’s voice. He heard the concerned way he spoke too. Kenma never called from work.

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you. Can I stay at your place today?”

“Sure. Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Everything is as usual. Are you at uni?”

“Yeah, I got classes until three and then I’m good to go.”

“I’ll text you when I get off work. I hope I won’t have to do overtime.”

“Are you sure everything is ok?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Alright. Let me know when you’re coming home.”

“I will. See you in the evening, bye.”

“I love you, bye.”

There was a tiny clicking noise and then Kuroo had hung up. Kenma stared at his phone in silence. He didn’t get a chance to say it back. _I love you._ Kuroo always said it so easily. So lightly. As if it wasn’t difficult for him to say because it was so obvious. It didn’t lose its importance, on the contrary, it was a reassurance that made Kenma feel safe.

He tried his best to wrap his work up quickly for that day, but of course someone had issues with their computer right before he was able to leave. Kenma rubbed his eyes. They were tired from looking at computer screens all day. His fingers rapidly hopped over the keyboard, checking one program after the other until he had found the problem. Fixing it took another thirty minutes but he recovered all files. He tried his best not to leave his work in a too obvious hurry but he was eager to get home.

Leaves crunched under his feet while he walked to the train station and the cold air was sneaking in through the gaps in his scarf. Kuroo always laughed about how he wrapped it up until it touched his ears but he disliked being cold.

Kenma arrived at Kuroo’s place. He had his own key so he unlocked the door. At first he had always rung the doorbell but Kuroo told him that he didn’t give him the key for nothing and it was alright to use it.

“Kuro, I’m home.”

He hadn’t even taken his shoes off when Kuroo appeared in the doorway.  

“Hey, welcome back.”

“Kuro, you’re lurking,” Kenma said after he was still there while he took his scarf and jacket off.

“I’m not.”

“You are. What did you do?”

“Nothing. Why don’t you come in the living room with me,” he smiled sheepishly.

Kenma warily followed him into the living room. The large blanket that was usually on the couch was thrown over a ladder and two chairs, making a tent-like roof.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a pillow fort. You had a bad day at work so I thought you might want to hole up in there and relax.”

Kenma walked over to the entrance of the pillow fort. There was another blanket covering the floor and the pillows from the couch were placed along the sides.

“Now lie down and get comfortable, I prepared some food for us.”

Kenma crouched and carefully crawled into the pillow fort. The lamp that hung from the ceiling cast a dim light through the blanket. If he closed his eyes now he would fall asleep in an instant. He listened to the noises of a wooden spoon clanking against a pot and something bubbling inside it and a minute later Kuroo put down a bowl of pumpkin soup in front of him. He made some space so Kuroo could squeeze in next to him and was surprised that the pillow fort was large enough for both of them.

Kuroo put their favourite show on Netflix while they ate in silence. Kenma always preferred to have some quiet time after work and having to talk to people all day. Kenma wanted to help with the washing up but Kuroo insisted that he’d do it by himself and Kenma should relax and do nothing. He complied in the end and stayed in the pillow fort, rolled up in the blanket.

Kenma felt his eyelids getting heavy. The soup and the warmth of the blanket made him feel drowsy. Kuroo came back after a few minutes and returned to his spot next to Kenma. There were enough pillows lying around but Kenma rolled closer to Kuroo and rested his head on his chest. A second later something touched his lips and he opened his eyes to see Kuroo holding a cookie to his mouth. Kenma couldn’t remember him every bringing cookies back to the pillow fort. Had they always been there?

“What are you trying to do there?” Kenma squinted up at him. His face was so close.

“It’s called being romantic. I’m trying to feed you a cookie so accept my goodwill and open your mouth,” Kuroo said and gave Kenma’s lips a soft nudge.

“I’m going to choke if I eat them like this. Give me one in my hand.” He held his arm up for Kuroo to put a cookie in.

Kuroo pouted. “That’s not how they do it in movies. Just let me try it once.”

Kenma was about to reply when Kuroo saw his chance to stuff it in his mouth.

Kenma did almost choke, but from laughing to hard while eating. “Kuro! What…did I just…say?” he said in between chews.

Kuroo smiled. “But it’s good, isn’t it?”

Kenma nodded and Kuroo put a bowl with the rest of the cookies down in front of him.

“Maybe there’s a reason that’s only done in movies,” he laughed.

Kenma helped himself to another cookie. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in a while. Kuroo had prepared all of this because he had been able to tell that Kenma wasn’t feeling well.

“Thanks for putting all of this together,” Kenma mumbled against his chest. “I love you. A lot.”

Kuroo pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “It’s no work at all, I just wanted to make you happy. And I really love pillow forts.”

Kenma wondered if it was alright to fall asleep like this. With Kuroo by his side, who was so lovely and wonderful and all the great things he could think of. He felt a hand softly resting on his head and gently playing with his hair. He sighed and leaned into the touch. Kuroo’s hands were always so warm. Their tangled feet, Kuroo’s hand on his head and the way they were lying on each other made him feel almost connected. Then there was his rising and falling chest, the rhythmical motion slowly making him feel drowsy until he eventually closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

Kenma’s arm slowly started to give out. There was only a short distance left to Kuroo’s apartment, so he switched hands with the one carrying the umbrella. It started to strain equally much after a few seconds but he didn’t put it down to give himself some rest. The difference in his arm strength since he wasn’t playing as much as during high school was noticeable. He should work out more.

He almost made it. After trying to open the door onehanded he only had the stairs left. He knocked at Kuroo’s door with his elbow.

Kuroo opened it for him and took the heavy bag out of his hands so he could properly take his shoes and jacket off. Kenma left the umbrella on the doormat to dry.

Kuroo put the heavy bag down on the table and took two pumpkins out. “This is my first time trying to carve a pumpkin, have you ever tried it before?”

Kenma shook his head. “Not that I remember, I’ve only seen those pumpkins that look like art online.” He brought two sharp knifes with him and handed one to Kuroo. “I’m going to make us something to drink, do you want tea or hot chocolate?”

“I’ll also have a hot chocolate, please. It’s been forever since I’ve had one.” Kuroo knew that Kenma preferred it over tea when it was cold outside.

“I also got us some chestnuts, we could roast them and in the meantime hollow out the pumpkins,” Kenma suggested and took a bag of chestnuts out of his backpack.

They laid out a tray and started to make tiny cuts in the chestnuts before putting them in the oven. With two hot cups of cocoa in front of them and a bowl in the middle of the table to collect the pumpkin seeds they then started to hollow out the pumpkins.

“Do you know what you’re going to carve out of it?” Kenma asked.

“I have no idea what I’m doing, I’ll think of something on the go. You?”

Kenma shook his head. He hadn’t thought of a design either.

“How about this, we make the pumpkins for each other. So yours stays at my place and you take mine with you to your flat.”

“That sounds good to me.”

It was already getting dark outside and the rain was hitting the windows. Soft music from Kuroo’s laptop played in the background.

“Oh, I haven’t told you yet. Bokuto and Akaashi invited us over to play board games next weekend,” Kenma said.

“What? Why am I the last one to know about it.” Kuroo gave him a betrayed look. “Also since when do we play board games?”

Kenma returned the look unfazed. “You know exactly what happened last time we played Mario Kart.”

“Oh. I forgot about that. Maybe it’s really for the better if we settle for something that’s less… _emotional_ next time.” Kuroo stabbed the pumpkin particularly hard when he said that so Kenma guessed he was still not over it.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Kenma said.

Akaashi and Bokuto were living together, so they had a bigger flat and often invited Kuroo and Kenma over for games. Sometimes Kenma imagined what sharing an apartment with Kuroo would be like. Probably not much different from now since Kenma was spending more time at Kuroo’s place than his own but he kept his place for practicality reasons. Kenma had to wake up early every day while Kuroo’s schedule was a lot more flexible and changed every semester so Kenma preferred to stay at his place during the week.

Kenma leaned over to have a closer look Kuroo’s pumpkin. “What’s that supposed to be?”

Kuroo immediately covered it up. “Don’t look, it’s a surprise.”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “Fine, then you aren’t allowed to look at mine either.”

Kuroo started talking about uni and Kenma listened intently. He always enjoyed listening to the shenanigans he was up to. It sounded like a lot of fun. Like those adventures you would tell your grandchildren by the fireplace and get sentimental over when you were old.

On the other hand he had seen the all-nighters Kuroo had to pull to finish projects in time. He’d be irritable and on edge for weeks when studying for important exams. Kenma had considered going to university as well but there was a lot of pressure to succeed and be better and do more in order to stick out. He didn’t want that. He wanted to come home from work and be done with it.

The living room smelled like fresh pumpkins and chestnuts. The air was filled with the sounds of chestnut shells being cracked. The cups of cocoa where empty when they had finished carving their pumpkins. The frustrated noises and muttered curse words in the process of carving them already indicated that they were not the fine masterpieces they intended but the results made them laugh so it was all good.

 

* * *

 

The faint chiming of the neighbour’s wall clock could be heard. Tetsurou looked at his phone. 3:45 am.

He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms. The white light of his laptop screen was the only thing illuminating the room. His hair, usually defying gravity, was hanging in strands down in his face. He brushed them aside. The only sound to be heard was the white noise of the laptop ventilation.

Tetsurou let out a frustrated sigh. He was still not done yet. He had been looking forward to the weekend and spending time with Kenma but of course he had an important project that had to be submitted by Monday.

Kenma had come over wearing one of Tetsurou’s old shirts from high school. Kenma hadn’t thought much of it but it did things to Tetsurou’s heart that he hadn’t felt before. At first Kenma had only kept them because he wanted something to remind him of Tetsurou after he had graduated and Kenma still had one schoolyear left. It had almost been unnoticeable how much Kenma had grown up in the past two years. He had gotten more blunt and direct when he wasn’t feeling good about something.

They had grown up but the world around them had too. They had learned how to set priorities and balance responsibilities and leisure time. University was often the cause for weekend plans to be changed last minute. Tetsurou tried to feel less guilty because he could do nothing about his professors’ whims and Kenma never complained about it.

Tetsurou shook his head. He needed to focus. He resumed his hunched over position on the desk chair when he heard the light in the bedroom switch on, followed by footsteps on the floor.

Kenma came around the corner, his eyes small and his hair tousled from sleeping. “Are you still not done? It’s almost four am.” He put his hands on Tetsurou’s back and leaned over him to take a look at his computer screen.

“Almost, I need fifteen more minutes. Or twenty.” His voice was rough and he noticed how tired he was. It was a tiredness that made him feel empty inside, disconnected from his thoughts.

Kenma placed a soft kiss on Tetsurou’s temple. “I’ll make you something to drink, what do you want?”

“Coffee?”

Kenma glanced at the table and the stack of cups on it. “I think you had enough coffee for today. How about some tea?”

Tetsurou made an indistinguishable noise to show that he wasn’t pleased but nodded. Kenma walked over to the kitchen area and heated some water up. Tetsurou listened to the patter of his bare feet against the kitchen tiles and the bubbling water. A cup of steaming hot tea was placed in front of him.

“It’s ginger tea. No caffeine.” Kenma gave him another light kiss on his head and tousled his hair. “Take it easy, there’s always tomorrow. Come to bed soon.”

“Thank you. I’ll go over this just one more time, promise.”

Kenma smiled and walked back into the bedroom. Tetsurou heard the clicking noise of the light switch. He took a sip of the tea and burned his tongue. He took another sip because now it didn’t matter anymore and because the tea was good. His eyes were glued to the screen, he could finally rest when he got this done. Kenma was waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been forever since i've last built a pillow fort, i should change that sometime. i enjoy writing for this fic so much, it helps me de-stress and makes me feel happy and warm inside, so i hope you liked it.


	3. sea of love (winter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ sea of love - cat power ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbMeAOTPJzM/)

„A skating rink?“ Kenma raised his eyebrows in question.

“Yes, I always see it on my way to uni. It opened only this week and I’ve never been there before,” Kuroo explained while he was absentmindedly running one of his hands through Kenma’s hair.

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been ice skating, I’m not sure about this.” Kenma wasn’t convinced. Although it hadn’t been snowing yet it was freezing outside. “We could go and have a look at it on Saturday though, if you want to.”

 

* * *

 

The skating rink was not far away, just like Kuroo had promised. They paid the entrance fee and got a key for a locker at the changing room. Each one of Kenma’s ice skates had his name written on it, an old remnant from his school days. He had visited his parents and his mum had helped him dig them out in their cellar, he hadn’t used them in a while.

He made sure to tie the knots tight, then he put his gloves on again. Kenma looked over at Kuroo who was still putting his skates on, his hands deftly lacing up his shoelaces. When he noticed Kenma watching he threw him a little kiss. Kenma rolled his eyes but secretly he _did_ think it was cute and he knew that Kuroo had figured out that he didn’t always mean the eye-rolling.

He turned around and stuffed his shoes in the locker. “Are you ready?” he asked Kuroo.

“Yes, I’ve got everything.”

They left most of their things at the changing room and awkwardly marched over the matted floor to the skating rink. Only a handful people were skating, it was still early in the season. A bunch of kids were racing over the ice, faster than any of the other people. A small area of the skating rink was separated by some traffic cones as a practice space for professional ice skaters.

Kenma carefully took his first step on the ice. It was easier than he would have expected, his feet weren’t immediately slipping. He made a few meek attempts at gaining some momentum and properly skating but his hands immediately reached for the railing as soon as he thought he was going to fall. Maybe it was not as easy after all.

Kuroo was a bit more daring, he just stepped on the ice and skated a few smaller circles in front of Kenma, who still hadn’t let go of the railing.

“Do you need a hand?”

Kenma nodded and took it thankfully. They were slowly skating in circles, Kenma holding onto Kuroo who would steady him as soon as he noticed him tumbling.

“This isn’t working,” Kenma said after he had almost pulled Kuroo down to the ground with him. “We’re both going to fall.”

Kuroo gave it some thought. “Well, how about this instead?” He made a tiny circle around Kenma and stopped right behind him. Then he put his hands on his hips.

“I’m going to push you, so don’t worry about your speed and just concentrate on keeping your balance.”

Kenma nodded slowly. Then all of a sudden he felt a huge push from the back and they started picking up speed much faster than he would’ve expected.

“Kuro, this is too fast.”

Kuroo nodded but he didn’t slow down as much as Kenma would’ve wanted to. He had his hands spread out like he was trying to fly, barely keeping his balance. They rushed past a couple and a few kids towards the end of the skating rink. They’d fall. Kenma was sure of it. He had no idea how to stop them so he did the next best thing. To close his eyes and trust Kuroo to know what he was doing. They didn’t fall. He pulled Kenma back and to the side before they came close enough to the edge to crash into it.

Kenma took a deep breath. “Maybe we should take it a bit _slower_.”

Kuroo scrunched his nose to communicate that he’d very much like to speed around the skating rink but for the sake of Kenma’s nerves he only pushed him slowly from then on. Soon Kenma wanted to try it on his own so Kuroo was skating next to him.

It didn’t take long until he started to get the hang of it, only reaching for Kuroo’s hand when he thought he might need it. After half an hour he was able to make an entire round around the skating rink without stumbling. Kuroo was meanwhile watching his process and circled him. Once in a while he’d turn around and skate backwards right in front of Kenma. The first time he did that it startled Kenma so much he lost concentration and fell over, earning Kuroo a sulky frown from him.

“Kuro, I’m tired.” Kenma eventually said. There was only so much time that skating in a circle could be entertaining and Kenma’s legs were getting heavy.

“How about we take a break and get something hot to drink?” Kuroo pointed to the kiosk at one end of the skating rink.

There were a few wooden chairs with blankets in front of it. They were accessible with ice skates so they didn’t have to go and change back into their regular shoes.

“Do you want to go and sit down already and I’ll get you something to drink?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma nodded. Now that they weren’t moving he noticed how cold it was despite them being inside. Of course it made sense that it wasn’t warm inside a skating rink, but Kenma would have imagined it to be a bit more moderate.

“A hot chocolate as always?”

“Yes please, I’ll go and look for nice seats.”

There wasn’t a line at the kiosk so it didn’t take Kuroo long to get them something to drink. Meanwhile Kenma had taken two chairs and moved them side by side, as close as their armrests allowed.

He took the mug of hot chocolate from Kuroo thankfully and slipped his gloves off to warm his fingers.

“This is nice,” Kenma said while taking a cautious sip from the hot chocolate. It was still hot enough to burn his tongue.

Kuroo smiled. “I’m glad that you’re having fun. I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“You make it sound like I never fun when we do something together.” He had noticed that Kuroo had tried his best to make sure that he was having a good time but it wasn’t even necessary. Trying something new with Kuroo was enough for him to be happy.

“I might know you for a long time now but I still can’t read your mind.”

“That’s disappointing, I thought you’d have mastered it by now.”

“I know, I’ll work on my mind reading skills but until I got that down we have to continue to communicate through words,” Kuroo nudged him softly before sneezing curtly.

“Do you need a tissue?”

“No thanks, I’m fine.”

“You’re dressed way too light for this season, you’re not even wearing gloves.”

Kuroo laughed. “Says the one that’s dressed like a polar explorer.”

Kenma gave him a stern look. “That’s because it’s winter and it’s freezing, not just outside but in here as well.”

He glanced at Kuroo, with his red ears and nose, his breath leaving a trail of fog in the air. Then he put his hot chocolate down on the floor before taking his scarf and wrapping it around Kuroo’s neck.

“There. How’s that?”

“Much warmer, thank you,” Kuroo smiled and a tiny blush spread across his cheeks. It might have also just been the cold, Kenma wasn’t sure.

“If I get sick now you have to listen to me complaining all day and nurse me back to health,” he said with a hint of playfulness. He didn’t often engage in playful banter but he knew that Kuroo loved it when he did.

Kuroo grinned and took the last sip of his drink. “Of course, if that’s what the patient wants then I’m more than happy to comply.”

Kenma laughed at that and rested his head on Kuroo’s shoulder while they watched the skating rink for a bit. The children were still full of energy, chasing each other across the skating rink, the blades from their tiny ice skates making small scratching sounds.

“Have you finished your drink yet because then I’ll bring them back to the kiosk?”

Kenma nodded and handed him the mug. He waited for Kuroo and then they walked back to the skating rink but as soon as Kenma stood on the ice his ice skates felt like someone had poured lead in them.

“I know that we just took a break but I’m still feeling exhausted.”

Kuroo looked at him for a second, then he drove a tiny circle and stopped right next to him. He wrapped one arm around Kenma’s hip. “Let’s do one more round like this and then we’re good, alright?”

Kenma nodded and followed Kuroo’s example by wrapping his arm around his waist as well. He felt Kuroo leaning closer but at the same time supporting him with his arm so he wouldn’t have to worry about their direction. Music was softly playing from the speakers in each corner and chains of light were blinking over the area where you could get hot drinks and snacks. Kenma glanced up to Kuroo who was turning to look at him just at the same moment. Kenma wasn’t sure who caught whom staring but they both didn’t look away. Then Kuroo gave Kenma a little wink which made him laugh.

They reluctantly faced the front again so they wouldn’t crash into anything. Kenma blinked a few times. It wasn’t just the cold air that made his eyes water. Kuroo brought so much joy into his life, he always knew exactly what he needed. He made him feel at home no matter where they went and scary situations were a little less scary with him by Kenma’s side.

“Kuro, I love you...” He couldn’t be too sure how long his courageous moment would last so he had gone and said it.

Kenma saw Kuroo’s eyes widen in surprise. Then he smiled and a flush appeared on his cheeks. “And I love you too.”

Kenma nodded, unsure where to look. He had given his scarf to Kuroo so he couldn’t even use that to hide his face.

“Should we call it a day and go get something to eat?” Kuroo asked, the blush on his face still not completely faded away. “Or we could go home and order something?”

“I don’t mind either, how about you?”

Kuroo laughed. “Do you think I missed the way your eyes just starting shining at the words _‘go home and order something’_? Let’s do that, I’m also feeling a bit tired.”

Kenma nodded and so they packed their things up, ready to head back to Kuroo’s warm and cozy apartment.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou carried a heavy box with _“important stuff”_ written on it out of his bedroom, followed by a trail of dust. He put it in the middle of the living room.

“So it’s in there?” Kenma asked with raised eyebrows.

Tetsurou shrugged. “We searched through everything else, this is the last possible place.”

They opened the box. It was filled with lots of random things. Among those were a package of new shoe laces, a very ugly alarm clock that he had once gotten as a present and, at one of the sides of the box, a small cook book. Tetsurou took it out of the box and opened it.

“It has to be somewhere between these pages.” He gave them a shake and a piece of paper fell out.

Kenma caught it mid-air and gave it a once-over. “I think this could be right?”

Tetsurou leaned over his shoulder and had a look at it. “ _Gingerbread dough_ ” was written in his mom’s handwriting. “Yeah, that’s it.”

They put everything else back into the box and stored it under Tetsurou’s bed.

The kitchen counter was clean, the fridge full with ingredients – they didn’t know what they needed so they bought a lot just to be sure – and festive music was playing on the radio.

Tetsurou rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and reached for his apron, while Kenma changed into one of his old shirts. They were big on him, the sleeves too long and the hem almost reaching his knees. It was a sight that would never leave Tetsurou unfazed, no matter how often he’d seen it. Kenma gave him a look when he noticed his stare, so he quickly tied the apron around his waist.

“So, now let’s have a look at the ingredients,” Tetsurou said and took the recipe. “We should start by weighing everything and putting it in smaller cups.”

Kenma nodded. “Alright, what’s the first thing on the list?”

He put a bowl on the scale and adjusted it.

“The first thing we need is butter.”

As it turned out, when putting butter in the bowl first, everything else would stick to it and not let itself be removed anymore. Another thing they learned was that all-purpose flour wasn’t as _“all-purpose”_ as they supposed.

“Maybe we should’ve just bought some dough,” Kenma said after a defeating hour that only resulted in the entire kitchen being covered in a thin layer of flour.

They watched their misshaped cookies baking in the oven.

“Maybe they’ll still taste good, you never know. We can at least try to make them presentable by decorating them,” Tetsurou said and looked over to the sprinkles and frosting on the counter.

Kenma shrugged. “I say that they’re beyond saving but we can try.”

A few handprints of flour on their clothes later and the cookies were done. Tetsurou took them out of the oven. After letting them sit in the fridge for a bit to cool down they were ready to be decorated.

There wasn’t much space in Tetsurou’s kitchen but they didn’t want to ruin the living room too, so they kept bumping into each other which almost had them drop all the cookies on the floor. They had a bunch of chocolate pens, sprinkles and almonds to put on their cookies.

Tetsurou reached for one of the chocolate pens and started drawing on the cookie. “Look, it’s you.” He showed Kenma the gingerbread man. It had his hair style and a tiny PSP in its hands.

Kenma smiled. “It’s cute. I don’t have to eat it, right? I don’t think we they’re safe to eat.”

“What? I made this especially for you,” he said with exaggerated disappointment.

Kenma regarded it again, as if he was contemplating whether he’d actually dare to eat it. Then he got on the tips of his toes and gave Tetsurou a peck on his cheek. “There. Thanks for the cookie.”

“Hmm, I’m not sure that’s enough. If you make a mini version of me we’re even.”

“You make it sound like I asked you to make that cookie. Fine, I’ll make you one,” he added when he saw Tetsurou’s pleading look because he knew that he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t.

Tetsurou leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as Kenma picked one of the chocolate pens. His hair was falling in his face as he leaned forward and drew the lines with a concentrated expression. He still remembered how different Kenma was in high school, when he was around people compared to the times it was just the two of them. He smiled a lot more at his jokes, while they usually earned him an eye-roll in public. They still did, but once in a while they even got him a retort. Kenma had gotten more confident. It was subtle but Tetsurou had noticed the change in his voice, a steadiness when he spoke that hadn’t been there before.

Kenma looked up at Tetsurou and met his eyes. He raised one eyebrow and gave him a curious look as if he was asking why he was staring. Tetsurou laughed and peeked over his shoulder.

“How’s the cookie coming along?”

“Pretty well. It looks just like you.”

Tetsurou gave him a critical look. His hair was just a bunch of messy lines in all directions. “How is that me? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I _do_ try to make my hair look nice.”

Kenma raised one eyebrow. “I think that effort is wasted, but I like your hair the way it is.”

Tetsurou smiled. It was rare to get a compliment from Kenma.

“Now all they need is a gingerbread house,” he suggested.

“No thank you.” was the answer he received immediately.

Tetsurou sighed. “Fine, no house for them. But it would be nice for them to live together and share a house.”

Kenma blinked a few times and looked at him with an unreadable expression. “Yeah, I think that would be nice…”

 

* * *

 

Kenma was woken up by the distant sound of his alarm. He blinked a few times and quickly turned it off. Kuroo was still sleeping next to him. His eyebrows were drawn together but he hadn’t woken up. Kenma leaned forward and gave him a light poke in between his eyebrows. Kuroo scrunched up his nose in response and rolled to the other side of the bed. Kenma suppressed a small laugh.

He watched the back of Kuroo’s hair – it reached its maximum messiness in the mornings – before he reluctantly slipped out of the blanket. It was cold and he hated the feeling of the floor against his bare feet.

Kenma hurried in the bathroom and took a quick warm shower before changing in work clothes. It was a rare occasion that he had slept over at Kuroo’s place before work but who could resist the soft _“Please, stay here. Just for tonight_.” that he had whispered in his ear. The long winter nights were a little less lonely and the bed was warmer with Kuroo by his side.

While the coffee maker was heating up Kenma opened the shutters in the living room and kitchen. He was greeted by the rising sun and hundreds of tiny snowflakes floating through the air. He watched them dance around for a second before he turned around to make breakfast. Kenma wasn’t fond of the snow, it only meant traffic chaos and late trains, which would result in him being late for work.

He poured the coffee in two travel mugs and added milk to each of them. Lots of sugar for him and just a tiny spoonful for Kuroo. Then he toasted some bread and quickly ate it with strawberry jam on top. He put two more slices on a plate, along with butter and jam, and carried it to Kuroo’s bedroom. He placed everything on Kuroo’s nightstand. While Kenma was gone, he had snatched his blanket too and was now buried underneath heaps of fabric. Kenma hated to wake him but it had to be done.  

He made a tiny disgruntled noise but after a second he raised his head from his pillow and slowly opened his eyes to squint at Kenma.

“I made you some breakfast, I just put the coffee in the travel mug so it’s still hot.”

Kuroo smiled sleepily and sat up. “Thanks. Do you have to go right away or do you have some time left.”

Kenma checked his watch. “I’ve got ten minutes but I still need to pack a lunch.”

“So you’ve got enough time to come back to bed and cuddle for a minute?”

“I’m already dressed, my clothes are going to get wrinkled.” Kenma leaned down and ruffled his hair after seeing his disappointed look. “Sleep for a bit longer, I even put the coffee in a travel mug so it won’t get cold.”

Kuroo nodded and fell back into his pillow. “You smell like me.”

“That’s because I had to use your shower gel and shampoo.”

“Oh. You should bring one of yours over sometime.” He yawned and looked up at Kenma with heavy-lidded eyes. “Have a great day at work and thanks for the breakfast.”

“Thank you, I’ll be on my way now. Enjoy your breakfast.”

He leaned down and gave Kuroo a kiss on his forehead before rushing out of the apartment and to the train station. He knew that he was going to be late, especially with the snow, but he couldn’t say no to Kuroo. He didn’t want to. His weakness wasn’t the pleading look he gave him, his weakness was Kuroo as a whole. Kenma looked up at the sky, snowflakes caught in his hair, while he waited for the next train. The pebbles crunched under his feet and he saw the snow building up on the branches of the surrounding trees. He held his travel mug with both hands. One day this wouldn’t be the closest he would get to have breakfast together with Kuroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winter isn't my season, the sun sets too early and the nights seem long and endless and lonely. I focused on the things that make me happy in winter, so lots of smiling and laughing. For me it's the most quiet season so not that many exciting outdoor activities happened, I wanted to give a slow and soft feeling. I hope you liked it!


	4. we fall in line (spring)

Snow, previously laying on branches of bleak trees, was falling from the place it occupied for months. Tiny rivers of melted water were following the sidewalks, leading into the closest drains. The first warm rays of sunshine slowly unwrapped Tetsurou’s scarf, opened his heavy winter coat and made him take his gloves off.

Tiny saplings were peeking out from underneath the ground and the trees started growing buds. Soon Tetsurou’s coat was stored among all his other winter clothes in his closet. Within a few weeks, he switched his outfits from layers upon layers to a hoodie and a simple shirt underneath.

On a particularly tedious Friday his eyes kept wandering to the clock at the other end of the library. The minutes were passing by agonizingly slow. Only a handful of seats were not taken, it was a busy season for students. The corners of his notes were all dog-eared and crumpled up because they had become a staple piece in his backpack for the past two weeks.

He hadn’t seen Kenma since the last weekend. Five days. It wasn’t a lifetime, but he missed him. They couldn’t meet up because he spent his evenings at the library, preparing for an exam, but not today. Today he’d take a well-needed break and replenish his energy.

Tetsurou flipped through his notes. They all became a jumbled mess in his mind and he had to read passages repeatedly to be able to retain some information. _One more time and then I can go home,_ he told himself for the fifth time that day. He took a sip from his drink and then stretched his arms. His eyes met Kai’s, who was sitting opposite of him, and they exchanged a pained expression. Kai pointed at his watch and Tetsurou motioned to his notes and held up a 1 with his fingers. Kai nodded. They’d stay for one more hour.

“Ahhh, finally”, Tetsurou said, after they left the library and gathered their things from the lockers in front of the library assistant’s desk.

“Tell me about it. I was so bored I thought I would fall asleep at one point,” Kai yawned.

They returned the keys of their lockers and left the building. It was lively outside, a lot people were hanging out at the campus, taking in the first warm days. Kai was off to his part-time job, so Tetsurou went straight home.

He was in a good mood. Kenma would arrive at his place in half an hour, the weather was just right and the weekend was about to begin. He did some last-minute cleaning up when he caught his reflection in the black surface of his TV. He squinted and turned his head from one side to the other. It was a sight he wasn’t used to yet, but he hadn’t held back from sending pictures to Kenma for nothing. He wanted to see the surprise on his face.

A short beep of his phone interrupted his thoughts.

> _From: Kenma_
> 
> _“should I get us dinner on the way? lmk what you want”_

Tetsurou took a deep breath. Of course Kenma knew that he was starving. Maybe they spent so much time together that their thoughts were getting synchronized. He thought of what he wanted to eat and sent Kenma a reply.

Tetsurou was sprawled out on the couch and watched some random sitcom – an attempt at making the time pass faster until Kenma came – when he heard the door to the building being opened downstairs. He almost threw the remote controller in some corner when he got up. He pushed the button to open the door into the stairwell and leaned against the doorframe while he waited. He listened to the distinct sound of Kenma’s footsteps, a sound he would recognize among thousands. Blond hair with black roots was peeking around the corner and Tetsurou was gone. The door was left wide open as he bolted forward, taking three steps at once, and pulled Kenma into a hug. He pressed his face against Kenma’s hair and closed his eyes.

“Hi,” Kenma whispered into his ear.

“Hey,” Tetsurou replied softly.

He adjusted his hold of Kenma, before he lifted him off the ground. Kenma let out a surprised yelp, but he didn’t protest as Tetsurou carried him up into his apartment. He closed the door with his elbow before letting Kenma down carefully. He was still in his work clothes, a shirt – Kenma would never wear a shirt in his free time – and a pair of jeans.

His eyes were glued to Tetsurou’s face and the three-day stubble he was sporting.

“What do you think?” Tetsurou asked. “I’m just trying this out, I can always shave if you don’t like it.”

Kenma moved from one side to the other, inspecting Tetsurou’s beard from all angles.

“You can keep it,” he said in a composed manner, but Tetsurou didn’t miss the way his ears got red.

A smug grin appeared on his face. “So you like it?”

“Yeah, yeah, it doesn’t look too bad I guess,” Kenma said and rolled his eyes.

Tetsurou laughed. He had missed this.

“Right, I brought dinner.” Kenma opened his bag and reached for two boxes. He handed one of them to Tetsurou and then he flopped down on the couch.

They ate in silence, Kenma leaning against Tetsurou, replenishing their energy and finding comfort in the other one’s presence. They could catch up on what happened during the week later.

“The cherry blossoms were already in full bloom on my way here,” Kenma mentioned while they were eating. “Last week the trees were still completely empty save for a few buds.”

Tetsurou nodded. It happened so fast every year. “Do you want to go for a walk after we’re done?” He knew that Kenma usually preferred lazing around at home after a long day but he’d love to stroll down the streets together.

Kenma was silent for a moment, giving it some thought, before he eventually nodded. “Alright, if it’s a short one.”

It had gotten cloudy with the sun occasionally peeking through, but they didn’t feel cold wearing just a hoodie. The grass was still short, but the spring flowers were already in full bloom. Spots of white, yellow and purple in the patches of green were lining the sidewalks. Every few steps the wind would carry a different sweet scent to their noses.

Tetsurou felt the back of Kenma’s hand bump against his. A content smile appeared on his face. Body contact was never a coincidence with Kenma. He was about to take his hand, but Kenma was faster. He laced his fingers in Tetsurou’s and slipped their hands in the large pocket of his hoodie.

There were a lot of people on the streets -  everyone wanted to get a look at the cherry blossoms – but Tetsurou didn’t care. Not today. Kenma didn’t either, because he gave Tetsurou an affirmative squeeze as if to urge him to not pull his hand away.

“How was work?” Tetsurou asked.

Kenma shrugged. “Nothing interesting happened. I ran the weekly maintenance and managed to do it twenty-seven seconds faster than last week.”

“You time yourself?”

“It makes the time pass faster,” he explained.

“I see.” He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t done the same at his part-time job.

Kenma’s focus shifted to something else in the distance. Tetsurou followed his gaze and it didn’t take him long to spot a booth selling crêpes. He didn’t need to ask Kenma, they exchanged a look and knew they both thought of the same thing.

They were in luck, there was only a short line. Tetsurou didn’t order a crêpe, the whole thing was usually too sweet for his taste, but Kenma would always share his with him.

They watched the batter being poured on the hot plate and the chef spreading it out with a small wooden spatula. She flipped it over twice and filled it with the flick of the wrist with strawberries, cream and chocolate sprinkles as if it was the easiest thing she’s ever done. She topped it off with a drizzle of chocolate sauce and icing sugar.

Kenma had to use both hands to hold the crêpe without dropping anything on the ground. Tetsurou carefully navigated him to the closest bench nearby, making sure that he wouldn’t bump into other people.

“This looks almost too good to eat,” Tetsurou said and reached for the phone in his pocket. “I’m going to take a picture so we can preserve this beauty. Oh, and hold the crêpe up a bit higher so it’s in the picture too.”

Tetsurou could tell that Kenma was about to give him a snarky reply but he saved his breath and rolled his eyes instead. He was already too used to his shenanigans.

“Take a bite,” Tetsurou encouraged him.

“I don’t want a picture of me eating. Take one now.” Kenma held the crêpe up and looked unimpressed at the camera.

“I want to capture your expression when you take the first bite.” He knew the look Kenma was giving him all too well. He shouldn’t push it, so he gave in and took a simple picture.

Kenma waited until he was done before taking the first bite. He closed his eyes and chewed slowly, his expression growing softer. Some powdered sugar was stuck to his nose.

“Is it good?”

Kenma nodded and held the crêpe up for Tetsurou to try it. He carefully took it, making sure not to drop anything, and tried it. It was even sweeter than he had expected, a combination of strawberries and sugar that stayed in his mouth even after he had swallowed. It brought back memories from his childhood. He had been on his way home from the park with his mother and Kenma, when they came by a crêpe booth just like this one, and his mother got both one. They were heavy to hold for such tiny children’s hands and he dropped his without being able to try it, so Kenma shared his with him. In the end his mother bought him a new one so Kenma wouldn’t have to give half of his away.

“Hey, remember that time you dropped your crêpe when we were younger? We were on our way home from somewhere with your mum, I think,” Kenma said while he continued eating.

Tetsurou shook his head in disbelief. “Are you reading my mind again, I was just thinking of the same thing. I demand some personal space in my mind.”

Kenma smiled. “Do you want another bite? I’m sorry, the mind-reading thing doesn’t always work.”

“Admit it, you’re just asking me questions to be considerate but actually you always know all my answers,” Tetsurou joked. Kenma didn’t often go along with his jokes. “Can’t you switch that off when you’re around me?”

Kenma took one hand and made a wavy motion with his fingers in front of Tetsurou’s face. A child that was passing by gave them an interested look. “There, all turned off now. I have no clue what you’re thinking.”

“Let’s try it again, I’ll think of something and you tell me if you know what it is.” Tetsurou suggested. At first he wanted to think of a something silly, but then a thought popped into his mind. _Kenma is the cutest person I’ve ever met_ , he thought with all his might. “I’m ready.”

Kenma stared into his eyes with overexaggerated concentration. Then he poked him against his forehead.

“Ouch, what was that for?”

“You were thinking of something dirty, weren’t you? Your face was getting red,” Kenma said with a disapproving look. “No more crêpe for you.”

“Fine, then I won’t tell you that you’ve had powdered sugar on your nose the entire time.”

“What?” Kenma’s hand shot up to cover his nose. He rubbed his palm against it, then checked his reflection in the screen of his phone. “Kuro, say something sooner and don’t let me walk around like this.” He gave Tetsurou a pout and finished the crêpe without giving him another bite. They got up from the bench and slowly started strolling back to Tetsurou’s place.  

“Fine, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he said while wrapping an arm around Kenma’s shoulder to pull him closer. Kenma didn’t complain and let him hold him, so he knew he wasn’t genuinely mad. He gave him a quick peck on his forehead, completely forgetting that they weren’t in the privacy of their own home.

 

“Ahhh, that was a nice walk,” Tetsurou said before collapsing on the couch with a sigh.

Kenma sat down next to him and switched the TV on. They were halfway through their movie list. “Yes, it was.” He played with the remote before he added,” You should shave your beard.”

“What? I thought you liked?”

Kenma shook his head. “It’s scratchy when we kiss, I don’t like it.”

“I kind of like it though, you’ll get used to it.”

“No more kisses then. At least until you shave.” Kenma said with a stern voice. He wasn’t joking around.

Tetsurou leaned in closer. “Really? So I can’t kiss you until I shave.”

“No.” Kenma moved a bit away, which only animated Tetsurou to lean even closer.

“Not even a peck?”

“Nooo, stop it,” Kenma tried pushing his face away. He was breaking character, Tetsurou could hear the laughter bubbling up in his voice.

“Come on, just a peck.” He was almost falling on Kenma at this point.

Kenma still tried to hold him back but he had trouble to focus because he was still laughing. Tetsurou used that chance to lean forward and press his lips against Kenma’s. It was a messy kiss, mainly due to the fact that Kenma was still laughing and him having trouble to not put his entire weight on him. It tasted just like the crêpe, of sugar and strawberries.

“I _really_ don’t like your beard,” Kenma concluded five minutes later, with the area around his mouth and cheeks all red.

 

* * *

 

Kenma kept a steady pace of looking at the time, waiting for thirty seconds, glancing at the dark clouds hanging in the sky, then checking his watch again. Kuroo had a uni course which ended in a few minutes and all the signs outside pointed to a downpour. He had left Kenma’s text _“Do you need an umbrella?”_ unanswered – he probably couldn’t discreetly use his phone without the professor noticing it – but he already knew the answer. The only umbrella Kuroo owned was in Kenma’s very own hands because he had taken it with him to work that morning and left it in his bag, so when Kuroo went to his course later that day, he had forgotten to remind him to take it. Recently he had stayed over at Kuroo’s place more often, even during the weekdays.

The wind was tugging on the branches of the trees. Kenma bit his lip. Kuroo wouldn’t make it home dry. He put his phone on the kitchen table, just in case he’d get wet, and threw on his coat. He put his key in the pocket of his pants – it still felt weird every time he used Kuroo’s spare key – and hurried the stairs down.

He wasn’t sure if he could make it in time.

Kuroo’s class was about to end and he had just felt the first droplet of rain hitting his head.

Kenma picked up the pace. The people around him were hurrying too as he got closer to the campus.

It started drizzling now.

A strand of hair got blown into his mouth. He opened the umbrella but the force of the wind made it almost impossible to hold it down. He fought against it, hoping that the wind would pipe down soon.

The droplets got faster and bigger. They were drumming against his umbrella, usually a sound Kenma found very relaxing, but not when he was in a hurry. He was already wet up to his ankles.

He spotted the first person from Kuroo’s class. He looked around. Maybe Kuroo was waiting inside the building until the worst was over. _Damn, I should’ve taken my phone with me._

That’s when he saw him. The jacket Kuroo was holding over his head as a protection was soaking wet. Kenma waved and ran towards him as fast as he could without leaving the cover of the umbrella.

“Kuro!” he shouted, but it didn’t carry far due to the heavy rain sounds.

Even so Kuroo turned around. Maybe he had heard him, maybe it had been instinct.

Kenma got on his tiptoes and Kuroo slipped under the umbrella. “Thanks for picking me up.” His hair was flat against his head, water dripping down from the ends.

It was truly belting down now. “Let’s go, quick!”

They were half-running, half-walking. Kenma was barely able to hold the umbrella. Kuroo lived close to his university, but these were the longest ten minutes they had ever walked. Kenma was already dripping wet all over when Kuroo pulled him under the cover of a house entrance.

They waited until the worst downpour was over. Kenma closed the umbrella and they watched the rain cascading down in tiny waterfalls from the buildings in the opposite direction. Despite the umbrella Kenma was drenched. The wind had made the umbrella useless, blowing the rain from all directions.

Five minutes passed and the weather seemed to improve slightly. The rain was less heavy.

“Let’s go now, it could get worse again any time,” Kuroo said. He took Kenma’s hand and ran.

“But the umbrella!” Kenma remarked. It was still closed in his other hand.

Kuroo didn’t let go of his hand. “Screw it, we’re already wet.”

They ran for it, water splashing up their feet and running down the nape of their necks. Kuroo stopped in front of his apartment complex.

“We’re completely soaked. Let’s go in,” Kenma said, the umbrella uselessly dangling from his hand.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Kuro, you have to take an exam next week. You’ll get a cold like this.”

Kuroo put his arms on Kenma’s waist. “We’re already completely wet, five more minutes won’t hurt. Dance with me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Kenma said, before he gave in and wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck. He felt Kuroo’s hands resting at the small of his back.

Rain was still gently falling on their heads as they swayed from left to right. They were completely in synch, eyes locked. The trees were rustling in the wind and cherry blossom petals were scattered all over the empty street.

Kenma stepped into a puddle and shuddered. “I’m cold.” His clothes were hanging from his body, heavy from the water.

“They always make this look so special in movies but it’s a lot less romantic than I expected. Where’s the dramatic music?” Kuroo added.

“Yeah, let’s just go back?” Kenma said.

Kuroo nodded. “Totally. I’m craving a hot shower right now.”

Kenma picked the umbrella up, that he had haphazardly laid on the sidewalk.

A hurried walk up the stairs later they found themselves in Kuroo’s shower, the glass walls misting up from the hot steam, melting under each other’s touch; Kenma ended up picking cherry blossom petals from Kuroo’s messy hair afterwards.

 

* * *

 

The door made a loud, final bang after Tetsurou left the store. He curled his hand into a fist, completely burying the small piece of metal in it. It had taken him a lot of phone calls and paperwork to get his hands on it. This wasn’t an everyday purchase.

Tetsurou had put a lot of thought in it. Kenma was straightforward. He didn’t like to beat around the bush, and when he did, it was the first sign for Tetsurou that something was wrong. They had this conversation before and Kenma’s answer had varied from day to day, depending on his mood. He prided himself on being the person that understood Kenma best, but this was still a shot in the dark. He had come to a point where he had mulled it over so often that his thoughts had gotten jumbled.

Tetsurou closed the door of his apartment behind him and put his shoes neatly to the side. He had complained to Kenma that he always left them in a mess so now he had to follow his own rule and keep them in order.

It was still two hours until Kenma would arrive at his place. It took him twenty minutes to Tetsurou’s apartment when the traffic was bad. Should he prepare something? It was neither a birthday nor any other special occasion. Was he being too much?

No, he had thought this over an endless amount of times. He trusted Kenma. He had known him for over a decade. He had made him feel warm and gooey inside since the day they first met. Being with Kenma was being at home.

Was he nervous? _Yes._ Was he ready for this? _Hell yes._ He grinned. What was he being so insecure for? Kenma was with him, he was sure of it, otherwise he wouldn’t have even considered this.

He got up and made himself a coffee – as if he wasn’t jittery enough – just so he had something to do with his hands. He almost jumped when the door finally opened and he heard Kenma enter.

The metal in his hand had gotten warm, he couldn’t remember holding it the entire time. He quickly slipped it in the pocket of his pants.

Kenma walked it, putting his bag on the floor without stopping, and sat down next to Tetsurou on the couch. “I’m home.”

“Welcome back. How was your day?”

“Same as usual. Uni?”

“Same, same.” He bit his lip. It was now or never. “Close your eyes.”

Kenma gave him a look but followed his instruction. “And now?”

“Now you show me your hand.”

Kenma hesitantly moved his right hand up in the air. “You won’t do anything weird, right?”

“No. Trust me.” Tetsurou watched his eyelids flutter a bit, but he kept them shut. He took Kenma’s hand and flipped it around so his palm was facing him. Then he reached for the pocket of his pants and placed something in Kenma’s hand.

“It’s warm!” Kenma said in surprise.

“Oh yeah, that’s my fault. Nothing to worry about,” Tetsurou quickly interjected. “You can open your eyes now.”

Kenma opened them and blinked a few times. “A key to your flat?”

“Not just any key, this is _your_ key. You don’t have to use the spare key anymore.” Tetsurou cleared his throat. He needed his words to be heard clearly. “It’s a special key because it comes with a question.”

“Which question?” Kenma’s voice was quiet but Tetsurou noticed the hint of curiosity in it. He might’ve already guessed what he was about to ask.

“Kenma, will you move in with me?”

Kenma blinked a few times. “Yes, of course.”

“You! Don’t make it sound like such an obvious answer,” Tetsurou said, relief washing over him. “I was so worried about your reply.”

“Is this what gave you nightmares? I saw you waking up yesterday in the middle of the night.”

Tetsurou nodded. Kenma smiled softly and ran the hand that wasn’t holding the key through Tetsurou’s hair. “I know I haven’t always been sure about this but lately the idea has grown on me more and more. I want to move in with you. And half of my closet is already here, it’s not going to be much of a change.”

Tetsurou laughed at that and Kenma returned the smile. He moved his hand to the nape of his neck and kept it there. Tetsurou leaned in and put his lips on his and they kissed until they ran out of breath. He was finally at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come full circle, this was the last chapter of this fic!! I hope I could convey the love Kuroo and Kenma feel for each other, it's the little things that often make a moment special. They finally moved together and I had to give Kuroo that stubble. He eventually got rid of it again but once in a while he brings it back. This was probably the most self-indulgent thing I've written and I enjoyed every moment of it, thank you very much for sticking around.


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